McJudgment

There is this woman. She popped up one day in a tunnel leading to Spittelau, a metro stop near our house, and was on the floor with a dirty cup in her hand asking for money. I had nothing to give but I smiled at her. I didn’t think anything of it. The next time I walked through the tunnel, she was there again and I smiled again. She smiled back. Every single time I passed her, I smiled and she smiled back.

The last time I saw her was earlier this week. And as I smiled, she said hi and asked how my day was. It was a little thing. I mean lots of people ask that throughout the day but it made me feel like she was my friend. Even though I know nothing about her except she has hardly any worldy possessions, I know that she has a big heart. And that is all that should matter!

It shouldn’t matter what we have or how we look to make a good impression to others. I know I judge people way too quickly sometimes. For example: she’s way too into her looks, we could never be friends or he is covered in tattoos therefore he is a hooligan or she is on the streets and wears the same clothes every day, how could she even be normal because she can’t get a job?

My point here is that people are people and we can only assume that everyone is trying their best. Now I am going to gently step off my soapbox because I will be the first to admit that I am guilty of this.

But I also think that we can be even harsher judges towards ourselves. When I look back at my high school career, I categorize it into four sections for each year. Year one, I was awkward, in the middle of puberty and all that that lovely process entails, and I still shopped at Aeropostale. I didn’t talk in class and I was petrified of the “cool” kids. Second year, I wore a surf shop t-shirt, jeans, and vans every single day. I slouched because I thought it was cool and I still feared the “cool” kids because they seemed to have everything together. Third year was a complete 180. I curled my hair every other day, I wore dresses and was basically a brand rep for J. Crew. I was starting to gain more confidence but I was still faking most of it. I judged myself. Fourth year I finally started finding a balance. I found my style (at the time) but best of all I cared less about what people thought of me, thus freeing myself from myself.

I analyzed every little single thing I did in high school because I was scared of how others would judge me but ultimately I was just judging myself. And it has taken a while but I am less critical of myself and I am working on being less critical of others.

Imagine if the people that judged us said the same things that we told ourselves. That would be a rough slap in the face wouldn’t it? So be gentle to yourself and be gentle to people. They usually deserve it.

PS I have been working really hard on a website revamp! I am hoping to have that coming next week and I am really excited about it.